Today we are Getting To Know (GTK) Respark therapist, Evelyn Hill.
Evelyn took a different path to being a couple and sex therapist. She has always been fascinated with sex and sexual identity and relationships, and how that manifests in different areas of life. She thought, “why don’t I help people with that? Why don’t I help people dig down to those cores?” That question led her to Heather McPherson and Respark Therapy and ultimately led her to being who she wants to be. Evelyn graduated from University of Mary-Hardin Baylor through the Licensed Professional counselor track, while most couples therapists will go the licensed marriage and family track. She said, “However, I’m a rebel.”
Evelyn’s favorite theory to work from is Narrative theory. This theory is a client centered approach designed to work with a person’s story. It places clients as the experts of their own life. She says, “I am simply a guest, a reader. The client takes the role of editor and decides if their story isn’t one they want to live in at that moment, how do they rewrite it? They tell me what they want to write and how they want to do it, and I am there to offer feedback and unconditional positive regard and support them in their journey.” Evelyn loves this theory because no one is tied to being one thing. You can restart your story at any time.
In the first session with new clients, Evelyn likes to get to know you and build a strong rapport. Often times is can be scary and not sure about the process. Even after having previous therapists, coming in specifically for sex therapy or couples therapy can be nerve-wracking. Evelyn makes new clients feel comfortable and lets them know they are in a safe space to talk about anything and everything. Being a sex therapist doesn’t mean you can’t talk about other life issues and struggles. If those topics come up, if that’s what you want to focus on, then we are able dive right in because sex therapists are trained first as generalists in graduate school. The second thing is really understanding what you are coming in to work on. It’s the all important question of: Why now? It’s not a question they need to answer right away but it is one Evelyn wants them leaving the session asking themselves. How did you decide to come to therapy, and how can you use today to start rewriting your story?
Clients should see Evelyn at Respark North Austin Therapy
Evelyn has a very bubbly personality. She can offer a safe space to explore whatever the client needs to explore. She says, “I’m not surprised by anything.” She thinks also going through her own journey is something clients can resonate with, and allows them to feel safe unloading and processing whatever comes up. While everyone at Respark can offer that, Evelyn believes that she can come from the unique perspective of being a transwoman, and can be a support for people in that population. Evelyn thinks that also being a gamer can help show the fact that we can all just be ourselves and go on this journey together.
Two ways clients can “Respark” their love life or their sex life in Austin, Texas
According to Evelyn, two ways clients can “Respark” their love life or their sex life is incorporating communication through role play. If there is something you feel is stopping you from connecting with your partner, or communication in the moment is lacking, spicing it up through role-play can keep the fun going, while also giving you the foundation of being heard. It also works to build up trust in your partner to explore new things together.
Another way to spice up the sex life is to bring in some sex dice. You can use this to get the conversation going and learn about each other, even if you are out having a picnic. We don’t generally recommend playing in enclosed areas like Jo’s Coffee or HoundsTooth where someone might hear you discussing some of the ideas! But perhaps in Zilker Park in Austin? As an avid D&D player, Evelyn loves the idea of leaving things up to chance and letting the dice control the outcome. Adding sex dice to your life can give couples an exciting kick.
According to Evelyn finding a balance is the most important aspect in maintaining passion. She says, “Sometimes when we think of passion, we think of always going 100% all the time. However if you are always doing that, it can lead to the exact opposite of passion, which is burnout.” Finding that healthy balance and enjoying work at work and enjoying home while at home makes the time you spend at each place special.
To read Part 2 about Evelyn, our Austin Sex Therapist, click here.
Contact us to schedule an appointment today at 512-537-0922.